You are currently browsing the category archive for the ‘1’ category.

Its so dull and tedious, by the time ive finished writing one im overcome by a sense of pointlessness to my remark, and also a fear that my mood will change and ill realise that my comment was very Troll-like and ill be unbeliveably embarrassed. I like the way Youtube allows you to have you comment played back to you, it can make you realise what an utter arse you could be.


I honesty don’t, not on a massive scale at least. Ive given up reading any from of news and only catch bits from flciking through channels, the news that sometimes occours in ad breaks and radio 1’s Newsbeat. I think about these things, maybe find a flaw, then move on. It makes me happier really, there are a lot of bad things in the world im aware of, but I dont want to be force-fed bad news every day, its just not good for you, theres nothing you can do about them anyway. The only scrap of news I got recently was that in RoadRunner’s Opinion Scrubs 8 is Crap, check his blog to find out why. Ill give you some news like that soon, I bought a few games last Friday and ive been working my way through a few, so I might have a couple of posts up on them.

Like most TF2 players im exited by this. This is for 3 main reasons.

  1. I like to be scout and frantically rush to dodge bullets and harrass the other team.
  2. Theres more chance of me getting even better at medic by having to aim at scouts to heal them, kill scouts with my needle gun, and KritzKreig scouts for the achievemen.
  3. I want to be a Dick and Play engi to watch every scout get vapourised.

*You don’t have to read this post, its just something I want to write for myself.

I just can’t, at all. Ive grown up with a lack of confidence for a long while, and my late dad often put me into activities that were possibly meant to improve that, but ended up having  the opposite effect. I was in the scouts, which I hated, I didn’t enjoy the activities which meant I didn’t really involve myself with others, I also did Karate, which was even more unpleasant an activity, and whilst its championed as a great confidence builder it only sought to weaken mine further. Much of my younger years were spent wandering alone about the grounds, a lot of my life has been wandering with groups of people but not really a part of that group.

Thus I don’t have much social experience, and its hard to get any. Because you cant really be taught social skills, its practically all an art, not a science (which I wish it was). My lack of confidence means that even though I have a good vocabulary and can use words with precision it all goes to pieces in regular conversation with normal (non-geeky) people. I cant flow with conversation well, if I want to say anything meaningful I need to think for a while about a particular anecdote, because if I don’t spend time on it it wont come out properly, the downside is that by the time Ive formulated that anecdote the groups conversation has moved on, and my work is for naught. So i sit listening, making barely a sound, wishing that instead of being at a Christmas dinner I was with a mate, playing a good game with each other, messaging on steam and generally having a good time. When I do have the confidence to try to interject my mind is working faster than my mouth can process it, and I speak fast and to others it just comes out garbled, what is worse is that I hear myself talking fine. I kind of imagine this must be how it must feel to have just learnt English and to tell a joke in what you think is the accurate way, then hear no laughter.

Normal conversation is the hardest thing I know, I understand the storyline to ‘The Matrix’ yet I fall to pieces when I talk to others. My problem is that I have only a theory of how to hold a conversation, based on listening to others, but I don’t really get it. So far as I know all conversations start with the repeated “Hi, how are you” (or variants). This is a question so pointless as every time its asked the answer is always positive, you have to be in real trouble to say anything else, and even then you put a positive flick on it. Me and my Friend usually just skip to the TF2/WoW talk at the instant we meet up, rather than ask this needless question. The next bit usually goes badly, I realise I have nothing that interests the two of us to say, the conversation just stops, then I get bored, walk away and raid the fridge

This I suppose is why I want to blog, it gives me a chance to express my thoughts in a way that doesn’t require conversation. I have plenty of time to think about what I write, and I’m better at typing than speaking (yes really). There’s so much I would have to learn or practice or change to become anywhere near decent at speaking to most others that I genuinely believe Ill probably be bad at talking for all my life. So on that slightly depressing note, Peter out.

I often end up lying in bed with 4 minutes to go before the bus is set to arrive at the stop, the last one avaliable before I will be late, still wasting time rubbing my eyes to get rid of the sleep in my eyes. It then hits 2 minutes to go and I spring into action, leaping out of bed and simuntaneously grabbing clothes whilst putting another one on. I suppose I like some of the thrill of the perfect movements needed to get completly ready and reach the bus stop in the shortest space of time. The other factor is that I just bloody love sleeping, and need it.

Im crap at sleeping, my mind needs to have been worn down quite a bit before it finally fades into sleep, so i have the odd dilema of that the earlier I go to bed, very awake, the later it is before I actually sleep. Once I am asleep its goign to take a lot to wake me, I even slept through a ladder being sent through our window, police coming round the house, and police dogs sniffing around. I woke up to find the window boarded up, odd day.


Anything, is better than being bored.

It consumes you, I tend to eat huge amounts of anything just to stave off boredom. Even when there is nothing in to eat, ill still race downstairs looking. Ive worn a 5 meter deep groove in the floor doing that in previous years. Plus I always do race down the stairs, as even walking somewhere is too dull for me.I never cook any food though, it has to be instantly consume-able.

This is all due to having a mind which works incredibly fast, yet always needs something to be doing. I think that I am quite intelligent, more-so than most of a similar age, and this stems from that same condition. I gather facts like many women gather shoes, or people gather air molecules. But once I’ve done something, my mind will search for something else. Sleeping is an absolute chore. Its incredibly difficult for me to get sleep, its getting worse lately. My mind just will not switch off until it has been used extensively. In order to get any decent length of sleep on a school day I need to be doing something involving in the very early hours of the morning. Once I’ve got to sleep getting me awake is unbelievably hard. Only urgency will suffice to rip me out of bed and be dressed in less than a minute. Its like my mind is an giant switch. You find it very hard to move the handle and its either completely OFF! totally ON!! My sleep patterns are chaotic, and the time I spend sleeping is either very short if I need to be up, or very long during the holidays.

This gets wearisome after a while. Plus another thing is that if something isnt involving enough, you drop it. The times i have started a post then got bored halfway through and dropped it are numerous. Commenting on things has got much the same way, I need to try and type at breakneck speed just to stay interested.

TV has become much of a background thing, i have it on whilst I’m doing something else, unless that something else is very involving. Its odd how boredom will drive me to watch an episode of something for the 400th time on Dave, even if  I watch that same episode less than 3 hours ago.

World of Warcraft is good for staving off being bored. There’s always something to do. I’m not sure how much I play it because I enjoy it and how much I play it to prevent myself going absolutely insane!

I really like this game, as Ive posted before I’m back on it after I had a few months off it. Wow is one of those games that i like playing but I can’t explain exactly why I like it so much, its a MMOG certainly, but to define it more precisely becomes vague, its a Role playing Game, and you can become attached to a character you’ve put time in crafting, however the actual customisation of the Hardcore RPGs isn’t there, its a casual way to do an RPG, the combat isn’t too intensive either. Henceforth you conclude that it is a casual game.

Then you have grinding for mats, long treks to do obscure quests, that obsessiveness that comes with it and the comabt becomes a step up for the Hardcore raiders, co-ordination, speed and skill are needed for the dungeons or Player vs Player. Its got the hardcore elements there, and the customisation becomes a lot more profound if you open your eyes to all the minor bits you can add to your char as you craft a role for yourself in the wider community.

This game provides me hours of fun, and I know it gives it to many, many others too. If you haven’t tried it before, do!, go through all the classes, check them out and find something you really enjoy in it. However, like most games, it is not for everyone and there will be a lot that wont enjoy it, don’t worry though, try something else, its no big deal, if you want an MMOG then there are many out there, EVE for instance, Guild Wars gets you away from subscriptions and that’s only 2 of them.

It may seem like a lot to pay with subscription, but the amount of time you can keep playing it and not get bored makes it one of the most cost efficient games there are.

2 Major Updates to speak about! The recent TF2 ones and the one to my Blog.

Firstly my blog. Ive changed the theme and added a custom header, which I thank the amazing RoadRunner for. Ill be getting a few more posts out soon, detailing wow and Tf2, though that may take a week or so to get them out.

Anyway, the Tf2 updates. I like them, would like the teleporter and dispenser metal upgrade costs to be reduced as it feels laboriously long to upgrade them. Or what would be nice is if the dispenser range was upped when you upgraded it.

I have just realised I have fell into the perpetual trap of commenting on updates like some obssed nerd. As that has already been fufilled I shall now do the next thing in line for the TF2 Nerd. I shall think about what sort of updates I would give the scout class, here they are.

The Shredder!

– Replaces the scatter-gun. Less damage but each close range shot increases the damage inflicted on that target each time it fires, more-so when closer. Allows kill a target quicker if you stay close to them, but is worse for finishing them off. This would also allow more incentive to stick with teammates as scout, to get assists of your targets, whilst not being too nerfed in one to one combat, provided you can stay alive.

Can Of Soda!

– Replaces pistol, a 1 second drink time gives you a 7 second speed boost and allows you to triple jump during that time.  Though the loss of the pistol makes you more vulnerable to sgs and leaves you unable to attack effectively at range.

The 3rd Strike home Runner!

– Has a 20% reduced fire speed, but the 3rd time this bat strikes the same target it crits.

Hope to see comments on my ideas for future updates, the nirvana of nerdish-ness.

Finally I’m writing a new post! This week has been rather chaotic, I had a Maths Mock on the Monday, Tuesday was a day off due to bad weather (yay!), so my friend came round.  Wednesday I spent the whole day tidying up and trying to fix the damage caused to my keyboard when my friend spilled his drink all over it, the keys were incredibly sticky which was awful for trying to play a game, the U key still sucks though, its like its aged 50 years, it takes two seconds to spring back up after pressing it. Thursday I had the morning off as a weather precaution, maths where i found out I got 94% in the mock (Yes!),a physics mock and a Electronics mock back to back. Then I could relax knowing I have got simple Chemistry the next day. Sister’s having a Birthday party/sleepover today (Saturday) and I’m doing long runs on WoW and just got off an epic run on TF2 to do this post.

So its been a busy week, and time is tight for coursework and enforced revision, so all in all it will get very stressful the next few weeks as i can never be bothered to do homework early preferring to leave it late. But then Christmas! Which means presents, family and food. I’m an atheist so the religious bit of it doesn’t count, and I have a large selection of arguments up my sleeve for anyone wishing to tell me otherwise! He-he.

So that’s what Ive been doing, i hope to have more regular posts in the coming weeks (Like that will ever happen).

It was inevitable really, all I have been doing these past weeks is delaying my return to the game. I have found myself becoming bored at browsing the web aimlessly and joylessly. Now Salvation!

AS this is a new PC though (hand built no less!) I have to install from scratch. That means a long installation of the raw files, then a VERY LONG patching of the game, I haven’t been on in a while, and I’m told its changed a lot, think of my first and only level 70, recently gained, languishing there in dead space. What has become of my guild?

Time will soon tell.