Its so dull and tedious, by the time ive finished writing one im overcome by a sense of pointlessness to my remark, and also a fear that my mood will change and ill realise that my comment was very Troll-like and ill be unbeliveably embarrassed. I like the way Youtube allows you to have you comment played back to you, it can make you realise what an utter arse you could be.


Well the news from valve on TF2 is that the sniper is the next class for the update. This is “up to be the largest TF2 update yet”, so expect it to release mid 2011 based on valve’s record with these things. Still even though im not much of a sniper fan, Im not that good at playing it, hate being killed by them (especially as medic) and never find them that useful as teammates, I cant wait for this update to arrive – because ill go spy and stab my way gleefully across the battlements of 2fort.

Exploring a little on the TF2 site I suddenly realised that there are only 3 more “Meet the….” videos unmade at this time. The medic, the spy and the pyro. I can see all three having their challenges. The spy has a lot in terms of what they can base it around, but id see it as being tricky to pull off in the “Meet the…” style, but I see it being very good. The pyro has the obvious flaw of not being able to talk, but it does leave a lot in terms of comedy they can add to it.

However its the “Meet the Medic” video that I see being the most challenging, and thus i think valve will probably leave it last. You see the medic is quite dull to play to quite a few people, and those who do find fun in it, like me, revel in the concetration to try and keep your team, and yourself, alive amist the chaos, biding your time to retaliate with your own concentrated Chaos. This action will be hard to get across to the audience, and if that isn’t conveyed, it probably wont be a very good “Meet the…” video. They’d better do it well.

I honesty don’t, not on a massive scale at least. Ive given up reading any from of news and only catch bits from flciking through channels, the news that sometimes occours in ad breaks and radio 1’s Newsbeat. I think about these things, maybe find a flaw, then move on. It makes me happier really, there are a lot of bad things in the world im aware of, but I dont want to be force-fed bad news every day, its just not good for you, theres nothing you can do about them anyway. The only scrap of news I got recently was that in RoadRunner’s Opinion Scrubs 8 is Crap, check his blog to find out why. Ill give you some news like that soon, I bought a few games last Friday and ive been working my way through a few, so I might have a couple of posts up on them.

Like most TF2 players im exited by this. This is for 3 main reasons.

  1. I like to be scout and frantically rush to dodge bullets and harrass the other team.
  2. Theres more chance of me getting even better at medic by having to aim at scouts to heal them, kill scouts with my needle gun, and KritzKreig scouts for the achievemen.
  3. I want to be a Dick and Play engi to watch every scout get vapourised.

There are just too many games out there that offer a lot in the way of challenge but little in the way of reward. They aren’t mad enough, there’s no sense of ultimate power to destroy and wreck havok. You get a little more powerful, as always but the enemies do so at the same rate, so has anything changed? Its just the same mechanic whatever you play. The basic mechanics for all genres of games hasn’t changed. Occasionally the enemies get awkward, so instead of shooting at them, you shoot a specific point, or in a certain way. Whenever a game comes along that overs something even remotely novel we are amazed. Half-life 2’s Gravity gun is exactly what I mean, your still basically shooting but in a unusual way. RPGs have the same mechanic, with the ability to ruin yourself if you don’t follow a proper pattern.

Don’t get me wrong I love the sense of challenge in games, the tough, intense thinking you go through. The sense of accomplishment you get from doing that is a good feeling. Role Players have a nice sense of the character you create is personal to you. There’s a good sense of steady rewards in games, they keep you playing with that mechanic, proper pacing of these games can, and certainly will, keep you entertained and playing them for ages. I just always feel cold afterwards, like I haven’t had a major experience, nothing that is truly memorable. The only game I have ever played that gave me that feeling was HL-Episode 2’s Ending battle. It felt wonderful, the fast paced action was blissful, and sadly a experience that Ive yet to recapture.

I just want a game where I feel powerful. I want to be able to blast through everything with immense power in a epic wave of destruction, but to still feel like its your handy-work. Games designers seem to be obsessed with the unattainable goal of realism or the tedium of perfect balancing. Games designers just aren’t mad enough anymore, where are the massive, super destruction spells or the massive guns that destroy everything. There vacant, games feel like they have lost something, where are today’s  Mad Lamborghini’s of games to fight the  too perfect Ferrari’s of Blizzard and others?

It saddens me, there are plenty of games on my shelf and on my steam account but they dont excite me anymore, I dont feel inspired to play them.

Sorry for the disheartening post, but its an issue I have thought about for a long time, I love games and I like problems to solve but give me something with feel, with passion as a proper reward.

*You don’t have to read this post, its just something I want to write for myself.

I just can’t, at all. Ive grown up with a lack of confidence for a long while, and my late dad often put me into activities that were possibly meant to improve that, but ended up having  the opposite effect. I was in the scouts, which I hated, I didn’t enjoy the activities which meant I didn’t really involve myself with others, I also did Karate, which was even more unpleasant an activity, and whilst its championed as a great confidence builder it only sought to weaken mine further. Much of my younger years were spent wandering alone about the grounds, a lot of my life has been wandering with groups of people but not really a part of that group.

Thus I don’t have much social experience, and its hard to get any. Because you cant really be taught social skills, its practically all an art, not a science (which I wish it was). My lack of confidence means that even though I have a good vocabulary and can use words with precision it all goes to pieces in regular conversation with normal (non-geeky) people. I cant flow with conversation well, if I want to say anything meaningful I need to think for a while about a particular anecdote, because if I don’t spend time on it it wont come out properly, the downside is that by the time Ive formulated that anecdote the groups conversation has moved on, and my work is for naught. So i sit listening, making barely a sound, wishing that instead of being at a Christmas dinner I was with a mate, playing a good game with each other, messaging on steam and generally having a good time. When I do have the confidence to try to interject my mind is working faster than my mouth can process it, and I speak fast and to others it just comes out garbled, what is worse is that I hear myself talking fine. I kind of imagine this must be how it must feel to have just learnt English and to tell a joke in what you think is the accurate way, then hear no laughter.

Normal conversation is the hardest thing I know, I understand the storyline to ‘The Matrix’ yet I fall to pieces when I talk to others. My problem is that I have only a theory of how to hold a conversation, based on listening to others, but I don’t really get it. So far as I know all conversations start with the repeated “Hi, how are you” (or variants). This is a question so pointless as every time its asked the answer is always positive, you have to be in real trouble to say anything else, and even then you put a positive flick on it. Me and my Friend usually just skip to the TF2/WoW talk at the instant we meet up, rather than ask this needless question. The next bit usually goes badly, I realise I have nothing that interests the two of us to say, the conversation just stops, then I get bored, walk away and raid the fridge

This I suppose is why I want to blog, it gives me a chance to express my thoughts in a way that doesn’t require conversation. I have plenty of time to think about what I write, and I’m better at typing than speaking (yes really). There’s so much I would have to learn or practice or change to become anywhere near decent at speaking to most others that I genuinely believe Ill probably be bad at talking for all my life. So on that slightly depressing note, Peter out.

I often end up lying in bed with 4 minutes to go before the bus is set to arrive at the stop, the last one avaliable before I will be late, still wasting time rubbing my eyes to get rid of the sleep in my eyes. It then hits 2 minutes to go and I spring into action, leaping out of bed and simuntaneously grabbing clothes whilst putting another one on. I suppose I like some of the thrill of the perfect movements needed to get completly ready and reach the bus stop in the shortest space of time. The other factor is that I just bloody love sleeping, and need it.

Im crap at sleeping, my mind needs to have been worn down quite a bit before it finally fades into sleep, so i have the odd dilema of that the earlier I go to bed, very awake, the later it is before I actually sleep. Once I am asleep its goign to take a lot to wake me, I even slept through a ladder being sent through our window, police coming round the house, and police dogs sniffing around. I woke up to find the window boarded up, odd day.

I bought this game on December the 31st 2007 as part of the valve complete pack, and left it downloading while I travelled with my family to a new years party. I didn’t play it much at first, mainly because I also had half-life 2 episode 1 and 2 to play.

Since then I have played TF2 a lot, it complemented long WoW stints nicely. A short refreshing break to the long hours spent questing, for a while TF2 was good but secondary to many other games. It has surged into a major obsession and gone into an obscurity.

Still I have got in a fabulous amount of playtime. Ive gone through the classes and found new things and improved enormously in skill. One thing about me is that I like being the only one of that class so I tend to use different classes if there is a overflow of one, or if there simply isn’t anyone of that class.

A lot of playtime is in the engi. I’m very good at playing him form experience and skill. I mainly use him on offense, in a defensive way to hold what ground has been gained and get people forward. To this end the recent patch is good for me!

I’m loving the Medic though, and I’m a good medic who will dodge fire to save countless lives. I’m often lethal with the blutsager and can deploy Ubers and Kritz with good timing. I play it a lot on defence and often bind the team together and end up top of the Board. It is amazing how rarely I die when playing medic, and how rarely my team dies.

Spy, scout and pyro are classes I have as backup, and am fairly good at them. I raid the enemy a lot, i don’t do much damage as scout, but boy can I annoy and distract with style.

My total TF2 playtime stands at approximately:

472 Hours

With a total points gained at:


I love this game! Though I haven’t played it in a while I shall return to PWN AGAIN.


Anything, is better than being bored.

It consumes you, I tend to eat huge amounts of anything just to stave off boredom. Even when there is nothing in to eat, ill still race downstairs looking. Ive worn a 5 meter deep groove in the floor doing that in previous years. Plus I always do race down the stairs, as even walking somewhere is too dull for me.I never cook any food though, it has to be instantly consume-able.

This is all due to having a mind which works incredibly fast, yet always needs something to be doing. I think that I am quite intelligent, more-so than most of a similar age, and this stems from that same condition. I gather facts like many women gather shoes, or people gather air molecules. But once I’ve done something, my mind will search for something else. Sleeping is an absolute chore. Its incredibly difficult for me to get sleep, its getting worse lately. My mind just will not switch off until it has been used extensively. In order to get any decent length of sleep on a school day I need to be doing something involving in the very early hours of the morning. Once I’ve got to sleep getting me awake is unbelievably hard. Only urgency will suffice to rip me out of bed and be dressed in less than a minute. Its like my mind is an giant switch. You find it very hard to move the handle and its either completely OFF! totally ON!! My sleep patterns are chaotic, and the time I spend sleeping is either very short if I need to be up, or very long during the holidays.

This gets wearisome after a while. Plus another thing is that if something isnt involving enough, you drop it. The times i have started a post then got bored halfway through and dropped it are numerous. Commenting on things has got much the same way, I need to try and type at breakneck speed just to stay interested.

TV has become much of a background thing, i have it on whilst I’m doing something else, unless that something else is very involving. Its odd how boredom will drive me to watch an episode of something for the 400th time on Dave, even if  I watch that same episode less than 3 hours ago.

World of Warcraft is good for staving off being bored. There’s always something to do. I’m not sure how much I play it because I enjoy it and how much I play it to prevent myself going absolutely insane!

I really like this game, as Ive posted before I’m back on it after I had a few months off it. Wow is one of those games that i like playing but I can’t explain exactly why I like it so much, its a MMOG certainly, but to define it more precisely becomes vague, its a Role playing Game, and you can become attached to a character you’ve put time in crafting, however the actual customisation of the Hardcore RPGs isn’t there, its a casual way to do an RPG, the combat isn’t too intensive either. Henceforth you conclude that it is a casual game.

Then you have grinding for mats, long treks to do obscure quests, that obsessiveness that comes with it and the comabt becomes a step up for the Hardcore raiders, co-ordination, speed and skill are needed for the dungeons or Player vs Player. Its got the hardcore elements there, and the customisation becomes a lot more profound if you open your eyes to all the minor bits you can add to your char as you craft a role for yourself in the wider community.

This game provides me hours of fun, and I know it gives it to many, many others too. If you haven’t tried it before, do!, go through all the classes, check them out and find something you really enjoy in it. However, like most games, it is not for everyone and there will be a lot that wont enjoy it, don’t worry though, try something else, its no big deal, if you want an MMOG then there are many out there, EVE for instance, Guild Wars gets you away from subscriptions and that’s only 2 of them.

It may seem like a lot to pay with subscription, but the amount of time you can keep playing it and not get bored makes it one of the most cost efficient games there are.